Monthly Archives: October 2016

My Son, Who is a Cat

The other day, I decided I wanted a spiffy new header image so I pulled out various items with the idea that I could arrange a still life.  It would be a nice casual arrangement of things related to my life and my identity that would look arty and cool like the stuff I see on Tumblr*.

I had momentarily forgotten about the OTHER thing you see all over the internet.

Snacks? Any snacks? Asking for a friend.

Snacks? Any snacks? Asking for a friend.

Somehow, despite having about 20 or so cats**, I rarely post pictures of them.  They feel left out.  So Azrael (seen above) decided there was NO WAY he was going to let me neglect him.

He knows he's handsome.

He knows he’s handsome.

I decided to get a few pictures of him, because – well, look at him.

Go ahead and try this at home if you want.  But be prepared for some singed whiskers.

Go ahead and try this at home if you want. But be prepared for some singed whiskers.

He really did not want to move, so I went ahead and set stuff up around him.

Not just a handsome man, but the most handsome man.

Not just a handsome man, but the *most* handsome man.

And then I told him he HAD TO move, since even though I love cats and sex toys, having them in the same picture seemed a little creepy.

"Hey mom, what's going on here?"

“Hey mom, what’s going on here?”

So I tried to get a picture while he was out of the frame.  And, being a cat, he knew this and refused to stay out of the frame.

img_20161014_121208

Fine, I’ll crop it. We’re done here.

Finally, I got this one, and realized that blurry ears in the corner was the smallest amount of cat that was going to be possible and called it a day.  Sure, I could have locked him out of the room, but I’m not a monster.  And that is your exclusive behind-the-scenes look at my creative process, and Azrael’s part in it.

Stay tuned next week for “Oh God, How is There Cat Hair on This Dildo Already I Just Washed it?!?!?!?” (part 1 in a 34987 part series)

*OR SO I THOUGHT

**This is a slight exaggeration.  Maybe.

Review – Fun Toys G Ring and G Plug

Today I have a few toys from Fun Toys, a company that is completely new to me. I’d heard of them through other toy reviewers, but never tried out one of their products.

First, some background: I’ve had awful luck with remote vibes. Batteries that run down too fast. Apps that just plain won’t work. And my personal most hated: the remote that only works from six inches away pointed directly at the vibrator, and can be foiled by the thinnest of underpants. What is the point of even making it a remote?

I was excited to try out the G Ring and G Plug from Fun Toys as a set, since it’s not just another version of remote controlled toys – the G Ring works as both a remote control for the G Plug, and as a vibrator by itself.

My first impressions of these toys were positive. Packaging is nowhere near as important as the toy inside, but I do think good packaging shows attention to detail,

and if I am in a shop it does play a part in what I notice first and what I am drawn to pick up. The canisters these toys come in have an image of the toy on one side and a pretty drawing on the other. They’re sturdy so you could use them for storage later. Inside, you get a storage pouch (which I did not like much; the fabric it’s made from feels cheap) a USB charger, and an instruction booklet.

The toys themselves are attractive and certainly have a luxurious feel. They are coated in velvety smooth silicone and come in dark blue and pink. (of course I got the dark blue. I would be pleased never to see a pink toy again in my life) They are rechargeable

I got the plug in a large size, which honestly does not seem that large to me. I img_20160825_123602don’t consider myself someone who needs HUGE butt toys, but there you are. Your mileage may vary! The actual measurements are 5” around, 4” long with 1” of that length being the neck. This plug has a very slim neck, which I like for longer term wear. It’s also in my preferred teardrop shape. The base is relatively small (about an inch and a half across) which I also think lends itself well to wearing under clothing and for longer times. For me, this was a comfortable plug to wear.

Because it had been such an issue with other remote toys, the first thing I did was a clothing test. Will this remote be what I want it to? I put on some yoga pants on to see if the G ring would still work. It did! This is a major plus for me. (as a side note, you can also turn off the vibration function on the G-ring and use it solely as a remote)

picture-36Happy though I was with the remote function of the Ring, vibration is very important to me as well. It fit on my finger well, snug enough not to fall off easily but not too tight. I have to say, as a clitoral vibrator, this was not particularly great. I enjoy more rumbly feelings, and like to cover more area. This was comparable to other finger vibes I have tried, so I cannot recommend it solely as a vibrator based on my own experience. People who like gentler vibrations might find it more enjoyable. It’s a neat idea, but when it comes down to it this isn’t the toy I’d be reaching for if I really want an orgasm.

Both of these have a variety of patterns but I generally don’t go in for those. I like speed variation, but cycling through 6 different patterns is annoying to me. (Does anyone love the patterns? Let me know!)

Also, the buttons are hard to use while this is in action as a vibrator. The img_20160701_121631placement is accessible but once there’s any kind of lube or bodily fluid on them it’s difficult to press them, particularly since they are small and close together. I can’t see any way the design could have worked around this at all. It’s too small to place them anywhere else, really.

I decided I should do a good old endurance test of these as well. After a full charge, turned on at full power, the G-Ring lasted for 45 minutes and the plug for an hour and 15 minutes. Not bad at all!

Overall, I would say this set feels like an excellent idea that didn’t quite make it in practice. The design is beautiful and luxurious, I found the plug comfortable, and having a remote that is also a vibrator is brilliant. The remote function worked well for me and was superior to so many other remotes.  So much was right about this but ultimately it was a good but not great toy for me.

Disclaimer: The G Ring and G Plug were provided to me free of charge by Fun Toys in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.

G Ring and G Plug