Monthly Archives: March 2017

Island Of Misfit Sex Toys – The Vibrator I Killed

I was all set to talk about another odd sex toy design, but you know what?

I learned something instead.

See, I’ve heard – probably more than once – that one should NEVER leave batteries in a toy. But I’ve done so plenty of times. In fact, my oldest vibrator (which, if I remember correctly, turns seven this year) has been left with batteries in for months at a time and is still going strong.

Well, I learned you actually should NOT leave batteries in!

See, this toy . . . this toy looked intriguing, so I got it. I tried it out once. ONCE. When I decided to start this series of posts I knew it was going to be one of the first things I discussed.


The toy in question is by California Exotics and is called . . . Body & Soul? Scintillation? Anyway, it’s an “Arousal pump for her”


However, one round of play is not at all sufficient for review purposes. Obviously, I was going to need to spend more time with it and take extensive notes*

And . . . yes, I know, “DON’T store your toys with batteries in them!” But I never really thought about it. I regularly leave batteries in, because I’m just going to play with it again, right?** Well, APPARENTLY this is the one that finally fell victim to my reckless ways. I thought the batteries had just died, but looking closer after they were out, I could see a bit of corrosion in the toy.

So, DO NOT LEAVE BATTERIES IN YOUR VIBRATORS. I now understand the wisdom of this rule.

As for the toy itself . . . well, based on one use I’d say it falls into the vast category of “Brilliant idea, needs further refinement.”

The thing that interested me was that this is a vibrator but also offers suction. A small, clit-centric area of suction. That sounded like it would feel great! And it did!

R.I.P. suction vibe thingy . . . we hardly knew ye.

As I suspected, the combination of suction and vibration was an all-around win for me. As you probably already know, suction increases blood flow to an area, which can make it more sensitive. Focusing it on the clit was indeed great! Two wonderful sensations combining to be extra-pleasurable!

But of course there was a downside – one big enough that I didn’t keep playing with this every single day after its initial run.

The downside was that this toy really needed to be held very precisely in place to work. Too much motion and the suction would be interrupted, and then getting it positioned correctly again took way too much precision to be done in the middle of playtime! I have little interest in having my attention diverted that way. I think I’d be happier with a partner using it on me, but we’ll never know now, will we?

Do the nubs make it look sort of like a cartoon lamprey? And does that make it sound more or less appealing?

The design of this toy was otherwise pretty good for me, with the handle being a decent length and the button easy to reach while I was using it. Aesthetically, I love the deep royal blue color.***

I’m totally down for trying out new suction toys though! If anyone has one they’d like to send my way, please do so! I promise I won’t kill it with neglect like it’s a houseplant!

As I was writing this I referred back to the box and instructions a few times.  Immediately after that I started reading the instruction booklet for another thing I am planning to write about.  This made me want to write about the very high level of fail present in sex-toy package inserts because it is A LOT OF FAIL.  So, that may be coming to this blog in the near future!  We’ll see!


* Which I do when I am planning to write about toys. Often, these notes are hilarious when I try to read them later.

** As of right now I have about . . . ten? vibrators. So even if I rotated through them carefully giving each one equal attention, the odds of me using any given one are . . . not great.

***I try not to express my disdain for pink in EVERY review, but seriously.