Category Archives: Personal

Quick Life Update

It’s been quite a while since I’ve shared anything on here.

Partly for negative reasons:

I’ve had two cats go through major illnesses and die this year. Stress always has a strong impact on my own health so I’ve had to slow down a lot to take care of myself while looking after them. It’s been heartbreaking since I love my cats very much!

Also, I’ve been dealing with someone I’d begun collaborating with on two major projects turning on me. This is someone I’d worked with several times before, who I’d considered a friend and whose work I greatly admired. This change in him came as a shock.

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen some tweets alluding to some new video content I was working on. This is the reason the content hasn’t been released yet.

Shortly after that shoot, I started getting creepy, threatening messages. About the shoot we’d just done. From the photographer.

Anyone who has met me in real life knows that all the erotic work I do in modeling and writing is backed up by a pretty healthy attitude toward sexuality in general. Meaning, I don’t find the human body or sexual desire (my own or that of other people) shameful. So, someone sending me messages trying to make me feel shame for shooting something I chose to do is very much failing to understand what makes me tick.

I would never have thought that someone I already had such a positive history with would change this much. We’ve all had bad clients, or shot with people we just don’t match up with well, but I have never had anyone hide their true colors so effectively for so long.

Obviously, I am not pleased with any of this, but there are good things going on too!

I have been working with a few new people and all those projects have been rewarding and helped fuel my creative energy.

I’m feeling well enough to start traveling again, so I am planning more work trips for the summer and fall.

And of course I have more writing planned for this blog. I’d like to start sharing more of my modeling work (although if you’re here for the dildo reviews, don’t worry, I’m not abandoning them entirely!) since I’m now focusing on projects I care about and that excite me creatively.

So, thanks for reading! My goals with writing have always been to entertain and educate so I will be back to my usual content soon!

My Son, Who is a Cat

The other day, I decided I wanted a spiffy new header image so I pulled out various items with the idea that I could arrange a still life.  It would be a nice casual arrangement of things related to my life and my identity that would look arty and cool like the stuff I see on Tumblr*.

I had momentarily forgotten about the OTHER thing you see all over the internet.

Snacks? Any snacks? Asking for a friend.

Snacks? Any snacks? Asking for a friend.

Somehow, despite having about 20 or so cats**, I rarely post pictures of them.  They feel left out.  So Azrael (seen above) decided there was NO WAY he was going to let me neglect him.

He knows he's handsome.

He knows he’s handsome.

I decided to get a few pictures of him, because – well, look at him.

Go ahead and try this at home if you want.  But be prepared for some singed whiskers.

Go ahead and try this at home if you want. But be prepared for some singed whiskers.

He really did not want to move, so I went ahead and set stuff up around him.

Not just a handsome man, but the most handsome man.

Not just a handsome man, but the *most* handsome man.

And then I told him he HAD TO move, since even though I love cats and sex toys, having them in the same picture seemed a little creepy.

"Hey mom, what's going on here?"

“Hey mom, what’s going on here?”

So I tried to get a picture while he was out of the frame.  And, being a cat, he knew this and refused to stay out of the frame.

img_20161014_121208

Fine, I’ll crop it. We’re done here.

Finally, I got this one, and realized that blurry ears in the corner was the smallest amount of cat that was going to be possible and called it a day.  Sure, I could have locked him out of the room, but I’m not a monster.  And that is your exclusive behind-the-scenes look at my creative process, and Azrael’s part in it.

Stay tuned next week for “Oh God, How is There Cat Hair on This Dildo Already I Just Washed it?!?!?!?” (part 1 in a 34987 part series)

*OR SO I THOUGHT

**This is a slight exaggeration.  Maybe.

Return of the Blog

I’ve been gone a while, since 2016 has not worked out to be anything like I expected.

It seems like everyone I know started this year off looking forward to it being the best one yet. Optimism was everywhere and we all had great plans because after a lackluster 2015 this was finally our year.

And then it wasn’t. As for myself, I moved to a different state and then suddenly had painful messy relationship issues that turned into a painful messy breakup. To say the least, it was a little too much for me to handle all at once so I spent a couple of months massively depressed and not able to do much at all.

I am finally feeling better. I’ve missed writing and I’ve missed interacting with other people. I’m becoming more social, I’m lining up new photography work, and I have a very interesting set of toys to review.

At this point, I know I don’t have any regular readers yet; that takes time and consistent posting and this blog had had neither! I wanted to mention why I’d been gone for so long anyway. It feels weird to have just started something and then before getting any kind of momentum to be so utterly flattened by life.

It’s hard to get back up and keep going.  But I want to, so I will.

And soon I’ll have another thrilling review of Things That Go In Holes for you!

New Year, Same Boring Old Me

Ha ha! No, seriously though – I’m not much of one for New Year’s resolutions, but this past year has been so sad for this blog.  My posts average out to less than one a month!

I have toys I want to review, but I also have a lot of personal things I want to write about.  It’s nearly impossible for me to want to play and then report back about it when I have things weighing on my mind, and that has been holding me back.  So this will be much more of a mix.  I had wanted to avoid that, since I felt like a blog should really have a focus lest it turn into a rambling diary sort of thing, but guess what!  All the personal stuff going on with me is sex-related in some way!  So I will still be on topic!