My Son, Who is a Cat

The other day, I decided I wanted a spiffy new header image so I pulled out various items with the idea that I could arrange a still life.  It would be a nice casual arrangement of things related to my life and my identity that would look arty and cool like the stuff I see on Tumblr*.

I had momentarily forgotten about the OTHER thing you see all over the internet.

Snacks? Any snacks? Asking for a friend.

Snacks? Any snacks? Asking for a friend.

Somehow, despite having about 20 or so cats**, I rarely post pictures of them.  They feel left out.  So Azrael (seen above) decided there was NO WAY he was going to let me neglect him.

He knows he's handsome.

He knows he’s handsome.

I decided to get a few pictures of him, because – well, look at him.

Go ahead and try this at home if you want.  But be prepared for some singed whiskers.

Go ahead and try this at home if you want. But be prepared for some singed whiskers.

He really did not want to move, so I went ahead and set stuff up around him.

Not just a handsome man, but the most handsome man.

Not just a handsome man, but the *most* handsome man.

And then I told him he HAD TO move, since even though I love cats and sex toys, having them in the same picture seemed a little creepy.

"Hey mom, what's going on here?"

“Hey mom, what’s going on here?”

So I tried to get a picture while he was out of the frame.  And, being a cat, he knew this and refused to stay out of the frame.

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Fine, I’ll crop it. We’re done here.

Finally, I got this one, and realized that blurry ears in the corner was the smallest amount of cat that was going to be possible and called it a day.  Sure, I could have locked him out of the room, but I’m not a monster.  And that is your exclusive behind-the-scenes look at my creative process, and Azrael’s part in it.

Stay tuned next week for “Oh God, How is There Cat Hair on This Dildo Already I Just Washed it?!?!?!?” (part 1 in a 34987 part series)

*OR SO I THOUGHT

**This is a slight exaggeration.  Maybe.

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