Tag Archives: silly lili

My Son, Who is a Cat

The other day, I decided I wanted a spiffy new header image so I pulled out various items with the idea that I could arrange a still life.  It would be a nice casual arrangement of things related to my life and my identity that would look arty and cool like the stuff I see on Tumblr*.

I had momentarily forgotten about the OTHER thing you see all over the internet.

Snacks? Any snacks? Asking for a friend.

Snacks? Any snacks? Asking for a friend.

Somehow, despite having about 20 or so cats**, I rarely post pictures of them.  They feel left out.  So Azrael (seen above) decided there was NO WAY he was going to let me neglect him.

He knows he's handsome.

He knows he’s handsome.

I decided to get a few pictures of him, because – well, look at him.

Go ahead and try this at home if you want.  But be prepared for some singed whiskers.

Go ahead and try this at home if you want. But be prepared for some singed whiskers.

He really did not want to move, so I went ahead and set stuff up around him.

Not just a handsome man, but the most handsome man.

Not just a handsome man, but the *most* handsome man.

And then I told him he HAD TO move, since even though I love cats and sex toys, having them in the same picture seemed a little creepy.

"Hey mom, what's going on here?"

“Hey mom, what’s going on here?”

So I tried to get a picture while he was out of the frame.  And, being a cat, he knew this and refused to stay out of the frame.

img_20161014_121208

Fine, I’ll crop it. We’re done here.

Finally, I got this one, and realized that blurry ears in the corner was the smallest amount of cat that was going to be possible and called it a day.  Sure, I could have locked him out of the room, but I’m not a monster.  And that is your exclusive behind-the-scenes look at my creative process, and Azrael’s part in it.

Stay tuned next week for “Oh God, How is There Cat Hair on This Dildo Already I Just Washed it?!?!?!?” (part 1 in a 34987 part series)

*OR SO I THOUGHT

**This is a slight exaggeration.  Maybe.

Modeling Superstition (Which I Invented)

Recently I had the opportunity to work with French Chris on a rope shoot, which I was very excited about since rope is something I have been enjoying for quite a while in my personal life and I’d been wanting to do some modeling with it.  Sure, that brings up the inevitable “what if I get really, really horny during this shoot?” thoughts, but I can totally deal with that by now.

What I did not think about was, “What if a small appliance eats my hair just when I am trying to get pretty?”

Well, I should have been worried!  This hotel hair dryer was the culprit:

This hair dryer.  This fucking hair dryer.

This hair dryer. This fucking hair dryer.

There I was, just innocently drying my hair after a nice shower the morning of the shoot.  Then, my hair was being pulled – and not in a fun way – as the hair dryer crept closer to my scalp.  I yelped, as you do when you are surprised by an attack appliance, and switched it off.  Master had to come cut me free with His utility knife.

This is not the first time I have had an unfortunate pre-shoot incident.  One time, the night before a shoot one of my kitties jumped on my face (all the cat people reading this are nodding and chuckling, while all the non-cat people are thinking, “how does that even happen?”) and left a long scratch right down my nose.  I had an awesome shoot.  Another time, a houseguest overstayed their welcome and I got about two hours of sleep the night before a shoot, and that shoot also went quite well.

So by now, I am like, “Bring it on, unlikely yet minor physical mishaps!  You will only make me stronger!”

French Chris was just great to work with.  And he is legitimately French, with the accent and everything.  My friend and co-model Solestria was there, and although this was our first time working together we clicked right away, so there was good shoot chemistry all around.

When I got the pictures back I felt like the locks of hair I sacrificed were a worthy price to pay indeed.

FC3

Photo: French Chris 2015